Climbing Mountain


There is a huge mountain in front of me,

I start climbing it,

The mountain in front of me seems gigantic and impossible to climb,

I start climbing the mountain in front of me,

I find a place to grip,

Digg my fingers into the rock,

Find a place to put my feet so that I can climb higher and higher,

At times feel like I am going to fall off the mountain,

At times, this task feels impossible since there is so much pain inside,

so many emotions,

body sensations,



At times all I can do is cry,


tear things apart,


It’s taking everything I have to climb this mountain,

It’s taking so much to face all of the demons inside of me,

It taking so much to heal from so much trauma,

The mountain before me seems impossible to climb,

There are other people higher on the mountain that reach out their hand to me

I grab their hand and know that I do not have to do this allow,

When I feel like quitting they tell me I can’t,

They tell me that they are there for me,

Do not give up,

It’s okay to feel your feelings,

It’s okay to allow the tears to come out,

It’s okay to be enraged,

It’s okay to rest,

Remember to do self-care,

I know you are feeling so much pain,

It’s okay to say, I am exhausted,

Be there for me and allow another to hold you on this journey of healing,

I listen to them and allow them to be there for me,

The tears coming from my eyes like waterfalls cleansing my pain and soul,

I will get through this.

It’s one day a time,

Sometimes one minute at a time,

Sometime one second at a time,

Know that you are loved,

That you are not allow,

You can lean on me,

You can call me anytime,

I am there and I will listen to what you have to say,

I believe you,

I support you,

I am a Warrior,

I am strong.

It’s going to be alright.

I will get to the top.

I will be free .


A Walk in Nature


Awoken in the morning by birds singing a lovely song,

letting me know a new day has come,

look at my dog,

he is wagging his tail telling me it’s time for his walk,


I put his leash on,

out the door we go

We are out in nature,


I smell cool crisp air,

Breathe deeply to fill my lungs,

Hear all of birds singing their songs,

Sense myself becoming one with the present moment,

As we are walking, I notice my body is relaxing more and more, and

I am becoming more mindful of all the sounds around me,


I look up at the trees to see they are starting to bud,

The dogwoods already have their blooms,

I look at the grass and see the first dandelion flower spouting up,

Saying here I am,

See my dog, prancing, so happy to be outside,

See him point at the squirrel close to us,

My dog is going crazy, barking at the squirrel,

The squirrel climbs up a tree to get away from my dog,


As we get closer, I see that the squirrel sitting on a branch,

Looking right at me,

giving me some animal medicine,


I notice a rabbit jumping around in the distance,

Also see a family of deer, that my dog has not seen yet,

We keep along the path,

As we get closer to the lake,

I see a blue heron perched on a tree,


Nature is beautiful and brings me home to myself,

I am now completely on nature time,

Completely relaxed and connected to myself.

Standing On the Edge


Senior year of high school,

I am standing on the edge,

There are so many decisions for me to make about my future,

I am excited about my future but at the same time,

I am feeling lost inside,

There are tears that are coming to the surface,

I am starting to remember what

you did to me when I was eleven,

I have started to sleep around,

Thinking that will somehow change

what you did to me that day when I was eleven,

You changed my life forever that day when you abused me,


All I know how is that I want to get as

far away from my small town ass I can,

I want to get away from the constant reminders,

And the triggers that take me back to that day,

Tears are coming to the surface,

I apply to the University of Cincinnati

because that is two hours’ way from Lucasville,

I get accepted and cannot wait to start my new life,


I have three roommates that are doing the sorority thing,

They are drinking and partying,

I never did that in high school,

So I decide to try alcohol for the first time,


I get wasted,

Two black men decide to rape me,

I have so much hatred for myself,

I swear that I will never drink again and

Don’t until I move to another town,


I start going to therapy to heal of this trauma,

I start going to a support group,

The therapist decides one

night to give us all a depression test,

I get a call a couple of days later

asking me to come in for an appointment,

The therapist that I have been seeing

wants me to go into a day treatment program

I start going to a day treatment

program and make it through that program,

Once I am done with this program,

I am feeling intense feelings

that I do not want to feel,


I start going to a club with friends,

Drinking and partying every night,

I just cannot wait to get wasted because

I do not want to remember what

happened to me when I was eleven and nineteen,

I want the intense feelings to stop,


So I start living for every

Friday and Saturday night,

So I can drink and get wasted,

I can escape from my body and the memories,


There were some nights when this was fun,

There were nights when I almost

got into fights at the club me and my best friend went to,

There are nights when I black out and my friends

Tell me the next day that I did,


One night me, my girlfriend and

best friend go to a strip club to

see her girl friend since it is her birthday,

I do want I am known for,

I start drinking long island ice teas, mind racers,

shots and get totally wasted,

We drive over to my friend’s house

that is twenty minutes away,


I can barely walk from being so drunk,

My girlfriend and my friends best

friend helps to walk to the house,

We go inside and talk for a little bit,


I have to go to the bathroom that is upstairs,

While I am in the bathroom, my

best friends friend comes in the room,

He is touching me and ends up raping me,


I do not say anything to any

one until the following day when

my girlfriend asks me what is wrong,

I start crying and she comes over to hold me,

She tells me that I can

tell her what happened.

I tell her that I am bruised, know

that I was raped last night,

and am hurting really bad,

She tells me we should call the police,

I get really upset, start sobbing and screaming,

There is no way in hell we are calling the police,

She tells me that we

should go to the hospital,

I tell her there is no point in

going to the Emergency room,

I know that the nurse will call

the police and the police will not

do anything except

blame me and shame me.

So we come to an agreement that

I will make an appointment with a gynecologist,


We go to that appointment together,

My girlfriend is there to hold me

and supports me through this,

The gynecologist tells me that I am bruised,

I tell her what happened and

that I do not want the police involved,

She does some more lab tests,

gives me a name to a therapist,

and the morning after pill.


I swear that I will never drink again,

I start going to Alcoholic Anonymous every day,

I get a sponsor and start on my healing path,

I put over a year sober, am so grateful that I found my way to AA,

have an amazing sponsor and started on my path of healing,

Heart Chakra


Settling into Reiki slumber,

I begin to breathe deeply,

I sense my spirit guides and teachers all around me,

They surrounding me in healing white light,

That touches very part of my being,


Breathing in deeper into my lungs,

I begin to connect to my heart center,

I become aware of the compassion they have for

me and realize they are there for me,

They want me to have compassion for myself,

They want me to feel my feelings,

To allow the tears to come out,


Breathing out I parts of my body are shaking,

My teachers and spirit guides tell me that I am safe,

I am releasing trauma, grief, anger, body memories, tears

And feeling connected to myself and heart center for the first time,


Breathe deeply again to sense the white healing light surrounding me,

I feel all of the love, compassion, empathy and support,

I begin to let go of past betrayals, hurts,

forgive myself and others,


I am connecting to my Divine spirt,

Raising my energy level, and realizing

That I am a healer.


Grounded and Powerful


Close your eyes and breathe deeply,

Sink your roots deep into the earth,

Come home to yourself and your body,

Allow yourself to connect to that place inside of you

That knows you are rooted deep in the earth,

Hear that little voice inside that is telling you,

You are safe,

You are strong,

You are an empowered Warrior,

You are beautiful,

You are a goddess,


Breathe deeply again,

Connect to that place inside of you that knows

You can speak your truth,

You can feel your feelings,

You can heal.

You are an empowered Warrior and Goddess who shines brightly.


You flow in the wind,

You allow the wind and rain to wash over you,

You have learned to surf the waves that crash around you,

You know that you are empowered,

you are healing the pain deep inside,

You know that you will never back down,

You know that no one can hurt you any more,

You have taken your power back from those who tried to destroy you,


You are safe,

You are a goddess that is standing in her power,

You are shining brightly so others know there is a way out,

You are healing.


Take three more breaths, in and out,

Allow the air to fill your lungs to capacity,

You no longer have to breathe shallowly,

You can take up space,

You can speak your truth,

You can feel your feelings,


You are connected to the earth below you,

You are deeply rooted,

You are very powerful.

Keep shining and ever back down.








Heart Warrior


I have been through a lot of pain and suffering,

I have physical scars that can be seen,

I have emotional scars that cannot be seen,

Many tears have fell from my cheeks,

I have felt so much rage and grief,

However, I have picked myself up,

Fought the next battle,

And continue on my healing path.


I am an empowered heart Warrior that is standing strong,

I am a heart Warrior that is putting her life back together piece by piece,

I have compassion for every living being and compassion for myself.

I am loving and a Heart Warrior that shares

Her love with the world and those close to me


I am strong and victorious,

I shout my truth,

I feel my feelings,

I help others to know that they are also Heart Warriors.


I will never quit,

I will never surrender,

I will continue on this path of healing no matter what.




Healing My Heart and Body


My life and heart was shattered into a thousand of pieces,

Step by step I am putting the pieces of my heart back together,

Every day I am learning that I can heal myself,

That I am becoming so much more then what they did to me,

They tried to destroy me,

But they did not succeed,

They turned me into a Warrior that is telling her truth and is Rising!!


Some days are better than others,

There are days when I cry,

There are days when I am filled with anger, rage, and fear,

However, I am refuse to stay stuck,

I am continuing to heal,

I am being gentle with my heart and my body,

I keep coming back to my heart and body every day and ask

what do you need from me today?


As I journey down this path of healing, I allow myself to feel the feelings I need to feel,

I keep telling my truth to those who choose to listen,

I am an empowered goddess and Warrior who is listening to her heart and body,

And starting to truly believe that what happened to me was not my fault.


I am letting go of the shame,

Letting go of the grief,

I am letting go of images and old messages that no longer serve me,

I am allowing this deep healing to get to every cell of my heart.

And allowing this deep healing to take place inside of my body.


I am learning to love myself again,

I am learning to love my body again,

I am learning that my body is my body.




Sensing Ankle

I know you are there,
when you scream so loud,
I am paying attention to you,
When the pain starts,
It takes me back to when,
I fell down the stairs at UC
And broke you,
You remind me of all of
The pain from UC,
Somehow all of the trauma
Has gotten held in you,
Now I touch you,
I feel you throbbing with pain,
I feel the tears well up inside of me,
I feel the nightmares and flashbacks
Coming to the surface,

I feel the anger about what happened
That night in the dorm room,
I know there is still pain that I have
To express,
I know there are things
That I still need to talk about,
I know that I have anger from
The police doing nothing,

I know that my life changed forever

On October 17, 1997,
I know there are many
Let tears that need to come out,
You let me know that I need to
Forgive myself for drinking,
I did not ask for what happened,
It’s not my fault what they did to me.
I did not choose any thing that happened
That night,

I have taken time to stay off of you,
I have allowed myself to cry
I have told you that I love you
And hear what you are telling me
Please stop hurting.
I am protecting you now.
I am listening to you now.