Self Care

As I have continued on my healing journey, one thing that I have had to learn is self care. I used to believe that I was not worthy of self care since I saw myself as dirty, worthless and useless.  Once that view of myself changed, I started making little changes to take better care of myself. Self care first started by drinking more water. Then that expanded to getting a massage. My self-esteem started coming back.  I started going to therapy where I learned and accepted that I was a worth while human being that deserved to be loved by myself. Soon I was getting massages two times a month, using essential oils to help myself calm down and started to realize that I could have self-compassion.

The next step I took in self care was finding my way to Nia and taking white belt. This is where I learned to love my body and life. My trainer suggested I go to see her friend who did Reiki Jin Kei Do. I did what she suggested and made an appointment. Through Reiki, I learned that I can connect to my body more and more. My energy level became higher and more self care started. Next thing, I know I am eating better, spending time in nature, dancing, being with friends, listening to music, choreographing dance routines,  using essential oils, candles, healing stones, crystal singing bowls, take espom salt baths, meditation, earthing, massages, counseling and  getting acupuncture treatments. I had to teach myself that I could love myself again and now I practice self care every day.

The Journey Back to Myself: A Book of Healing Poetry, Second Edition



A collection of inspirational, empowering poetry written over the course of three years as Julie went on a healing journey to heal from multiple sexual assaults and Post Traumatic Stress. She learned that creating space for deep healing starts with taking some deep breaths to be present in the body. She learned that her body is her home and that her body is safe to come back to. Also, she learned how to love herself again. This is a powerful book that invites you on a healing journey. It is meant for every single person who is healing from something. It’s meant to be a guide for every psychologist, psychiatrists, doctor, nurse, social worker, professor, counselor to use to understand the effects of child sexual abuse, university rape, military sexual trauma, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress.


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Reiki Jin Kei Do


I am asked to lay down,

take three deep breaths,

allow myself to be present and relax,

asked to allow whatever happens to happen,


My spirit guides, teachers and angels surround me,

Bringing me into my body,

Helping me to breathe deeply,

And taking me into a Reiki slumber,

Where healing white light surrounds me,



As I go deeper into a Reiki slumber,

My body starts to shake as I am releasing trauma

from my knee and ankle,

Tears start to flow,

healing is taking place,

I feel fearful.


Reiki master holds me gently

And tells me that I am safe,

Allow the tears to come out,

Allow my body to shake,

Healing is taking place,

She is there for me,


With her words and love,

I know that I am safe

My body continues to shake,

Tears are still flowing,

Deep healing is taking place inside,

As I releasing trauma from my body


I am so grateful for my Reiki Master,

Who is helping me to heal my trauma,

Rising my energy field

And allowing deep healing to take place.

Peaceful Warrior


I am fighting a battle inside of myself,

My enemy is Post Traumatic Stress,

My strength comes from myself,

Memories of what happened to me replays over

And over again.

There are flashbacks,

There are nightmares,

There are triggers,

The pain is so real and I cannot stop the pain.

I cannot stop the flashbacks.

I cannot stop the nightmares.

I cannot stop the grief.

I cannot stop the rage.

I show a brave face to the world but on

The inside I am crying.

Mother Earth is helping me to heal my heart

That was broken into thousands of pieces,

There are many days when I feel like I am broken,

I am determined to win this battle and to heal my heart.

I will not let triggers, flashbacks, nightmares control my emotions.

I will not let those tried to destroy me win this war.

I have awakened and I will find peace with myself.


I will love myself and forgive myself for past harms

I will love my body.

I will continue to grow spirituality.

I will continue to be mindful and meditate.

I will continue to speak my truth and continue to heal.

I will reach out to fellow Peaceful Warriors and

Help them to heal to.

I am Peaceful Warrior.

Healing Crystals




Pink Quartz,



Tiger Eye,

Clear Quartz,


All healing stones that connect me to my body, raise my energy,

Surrounding me in a healing circle,

Supporting me in my healing journey,

Allowing me to see through the cloud of pain,

Giving me strength and protecting me,


Raising my energy,

Ground me in the present moment,

Connect me to my body,

Helping me to communicate what I need to communicate,

Healing my broken heart,

How I love these healing stones,

A Walk in Nature


Awoken in the morning by birds singing a lovely song,

letting me know a new day has come,

look at my dog,

he is wagging his tail telling me it’s time for his walk,


I put his leash on,

out the door we go

We are out in nature,


I smell cool crisp air,

Breathe deeply to fill my lungs,

Hear all of birds singing their songs,

Sense myself becoming one with the present moment,

As we are walking, I notice my body is relaxing more and more, and

I am becoming more mindful of all the sounds around me,


I look up at the trees to see they are starting to bud,

The dogwoods already have their blooms,

I look at the grass and see the first dandelion flower spouting up,

Saying here I am,

See my dog, prancing, so happy to be outside,

See him point at the squirrel close to us,

My dog is going crazy, barking at the squirrel,

The squirrel climbs up a tree to get away from my dog,


As we get closer, I see that the squirrel sitting on a branch,

Looking right at me,

giving me some animal medicine,


I notice a rabbit jumping around in the distance,

Also see a family of deer, that my dog has not seen yet,

We keep along the path,

As we get closer to the lake,

I see a blue heron perched on a tree,


Nature is beautiful and brings me home to myself,

I am now completely on nature time,

Completely relaxed and connected to myself.

Heart Chakra


Settling into Reiki slumber,

I begin to breathe deeply,

I sense my spirit guides and teachers all around me,

They surrounding me in healing white light,

That touches very part of my being,


Breathing in deeper into my lungs,

I begin to connect to my heart center,

I become aware of the compassion they have for

me and realize they are there for me,

They want me to have compassion for myself,

They want me to feel my feelings,

To allow the tears to come out,


Breathing out I parts of my body are shaking,

My teachers and spirit guides tell me that I am safe,

I am releasing trauma, grief, anger, body memories, tears

And feeling connected to myself and heart center for the first time,


Breathe deeply again to sense the white healing light surrounding me,

I feel all of the love, compassion, empathy and support,

I begin to let go of past betrayals, hurts,

forgive myself and others,


I am connecting to my Divine spirt,

Raising my energy level, and realizing

That I am a healer.



You want me to become aware

Of what my ankle, knee and lower back are saying?

You want me to stay in my body?

You want me to feel my feelings?

You want me to say what I need to say?

You want me to tell my truth?

Are you kidding me?


You want me to stay connected to myself, my body

And my feelings?

Why would I do that?

I used to scream.

You tell me that I am safe,

That there is no reason to

Disconnect any more,

That you are there for me as I become

Aware of my feelings and body,


It takes tremendous strength for me to

look deep inside of myself

Where there are dark shadows,

But my shadows are demanding that light

Shown on them,

There is no reason to hide any more,

There is no reason to remain silent any more,

It’s not my shame!!

I can be in my body.

I can love myself.

It’s not my shame!


I have come back home to my body

And to myself,

I know that I am safe to feel my feelings,

I know that I am safe to speak my truth,


I have become aware of the power I have deep inside,

I know that I am an empowered Warrior

Who is speaking her truth and will never

Back down until victim blaming, shaming stops.


I am aware of the connection to my body

And know where the trauma is held,

I am loving myself and my body every single day.

I am being gentle with myself for

I know that I am still healing.

Journey Back To My Body and Myself


My journey back to myself started when I stopped drinking,

When I stopped hurting myself,

When I made a decision to ask for help and

found my way to Artemis Rising

When I started to admit that I was raped at 11, 19, 23, 25 and

Started to tell my story.

I started to put the shame where it belonged

On the rapists, society, and chain of command that did nothing.

When I started to talk about what the third class petty officer did to me,

When I started to talk about the retaliation that occurred.

When I started to talk about how the chain of command emotionally abused me

When I started to talk about the nightmares and flashbacks,

When I started to talk about the deep betrayal that I have felt,

When I started to talk about the grief that I feel,

I started to let all of the tears to come out and

Realized that crying is being strong and healing.

I started to talk about how hurt I was when

They did nothing even after he admitted to

Raping me in an email.

I admitted that I wanted to kill myself,

I started to understand that I had complex Post Traumatic Stress

I allowed myself to tell my story and

Allowed myself to feel my feelings.

I allowed myself to say the words that

I needed to say out loud.


Then, I found my way to One Billion and Rising Nia Jam

With support from the women in Nia,

I decided to take white belt and realized that I could come back into my body

That I did not have to stay out of my body,

That I was safe coming back to myself,

That I could love my body again,

The connection was made

That it is safe for me to be in my body and

To love myself,

That I can express my true feelings

That I can sound and tell my truth


Every day I keep showing up,

Keep suiting up and allowing myself to be seen,

Keep fighting and admitting my truth,

Keeping allowing the feelings to come out,

I have the courage to face my demons,

I have the courage to ask for help,

I have the courage to be vulnerable and

Express my true feelings.


I will not give up,

They are not going to win,

They have taken enough from me

And I reclaiming who I am every day.

I am a peaceful Warrior who is discovering

Who I am after so much was taken away from me.


Part of reclaiming who I am means that I have

Been reinventing myself by choosing to

Become a Reiki Jin Kei Do Energy Healer,

As part of this training, I learned that I care

About myself enough to have self-compassion

For myself and others.


Then I took blue belt and realized that I was safe

to feel what I feel and express what I feel

To tell my truth, to speak my truth, and to laugh

To slow dive to the depths of what is inside of me

And to keep pushing through all of the pain.

That I have a choice,

That it is my birthright to love myself,

To have compassion for myself,

To love my body and to be in my body,

That I can be kinder to myself when I feel sad.


I have found my way back to my body and to myself

I am being gentle with myself.

I am listening to the voices of my body,

I am loving myself and

Continuing to heal one day at a time.