Reiki Jin Kei Do: My Healing Journey

I took the Nia White Belt in July 2015 with an amazing trainer, Kate Finlayson. That was an awesome experience! By doing the White Belt, I developed a relationship with my body. I realized that I do not need to be ashamed of my body and can love my body. I learned where I hold my feelings and memories, and instead of criticizing and hating those parts of me, I began to accept and love those parts of me. Kate taught me to be present, to talk to my body, listen to my body and be loving to my body. I learned that I can dance and trust myself and embody the 52 moves of Nia. She taught me to listen to the music. I am all about the base, and I love music that has drums. I am coming back home to myself.

After this amazing White Belt, Kate recommended that I do Reiki with Haven Carter. I was coming home into my body, experiencing pain in my right knee and left ankle were I held trauma memories. By doing Reiki, I was able to release energy, feelings and continued to process what I was feeling. I allowed myself to feel and permitted the tears to come out. At times, when I was laying on the table, I shook when I got scared. Haven told me that I was safe and that it was my body doing what it needed to do to let go of the energy of all of the traumas. Also, she told me that I was safe with her, that she had me and that I could be real with her.  There were a few times when tears just started streaming from my eyes and Haven just held me.  Also, there was two times after Reiki when I got into my car and threw up. The Reiki was working on all of the traumas I have been through causing a physical reaction.   Sexual abuse is held in the body as I learned repeatedly from taking doing Nia white belt and Reiki Jin Kei Do.


Self Care

As I have continued on my healing journey, one thing that I have had to learn is self care. I used to believe that I was not worthy of self care since I saw myself as dirty, worthless and useless.  Once that view of myself changed, I started making little changes to take better care of myself. Self care first started by drinking more water. Then that expanded to getting a massage. My self-esteem started coming back.  I started going to therapy where I learned and accepted that I was a worth while human being that deserved to be loved by myself. Soon I was getting massages two times a month, using essential oils to help myself calm down and started to realize that I could have self-compassion.

The next step I took in self care was finding my way to Nia and taking white belt. This is where I learned to love my body and life. My trainer suggested I go to see her friend who did Reiki Jin Kei Do. I did what she suggested and made an appointment. Through Reiki, I learned that I can connect to my body more and more. My energy level became higher and more self care started. Next thing, I know I am eating better, spending time in nature, dancing, being with friends, listening to music, choreographing dance routines,  using essential oils, candles, healing stones, crystal singing bowls, take espom salt baths, meditation, earthing, massages, counseling and  getting acupuncture treatments. I had to teach myself that I could love myself again and now I practice self care every day.

The Journey Back to Myself: A Book of Healing Poetry, Second Edition



A collection of inspirational, empowering poetry written over the course of three years as Julie went on a healing journey to heal from multiple sexual assaults and Post Traumatic Stress. She learned that creating space for deep healing starts with taking some deep breaths to be present in the body. She learned that her body is her home and that her body is safe to come back to. Also, she learned how to love herself again. This is a powerful book that invites you on a healing journey. It is meant for every single person who is healing from something. It’s meant to be a guide for every psychologist, psychiatrists, doctor, nurse, social worker, professor, counselor to use to understand the effects of child sexual abuse, university rape, military sexual trauma, depression, and Post Traumatic Stress.


#foreverchanged  #CSA #universityrape #complexPTSD #depression #anxiety #healingmyheart #becomingonewithmyself #peacewarrior #climbingamountain #heartwarrior #peacefulwarrior #shutupandlistentosurvivors #why #PTSD #speakyourtruth #feeltoheal #empoweredwarrior #courage #strength #journeybacktomyself #reikijinkeido #niawhitebelt #niabluebelt #healing #inspirational #courageous #survivor #selfcompassion #selflove #selfworth #writetoheal

Reiki Jin Kei Do


I am asked to lay down,

take three deep breaths,

allow myself to be present and relax,

asked to allow whatever happens to happen,


My spirit guides, teachers and angels surround me,

Bringing me into my body,

Helping me to breathe deeply,

And taking me into a Reiki slumber,

Where healing white light surrounds me,



As I go deeper into a Reiki slumber,

My body starts to shake as I am releasing trauma

from my knee and ankle,

Tears start to flow,

healing is taking place,

I feel fearful.


Reiki master holds me gently

And tells me that I am safe,

Allow the tears to come out,

Allow my body to shake,

Healing is taking place,

She is there for me,


With her words and love,

I know that I am safe

My body continues to shake,

Tears are still flowing,

Deep healing is taking place inside,

As I releasing trauma from my body


I am so grateful for my Reiki Master,

Who is helping me to heal my trauma,

Rising my energy field

And allowing deep healing to take place.

Shine Your Light


In life there are many things that

Need light shined on them.

In my darkness you shine your light,

In my pain you shine your light,

When my grief comes to the forefront

You shine your light brightly,

When anger comes to the forefront,

You are there for me and do not judge me when I am angry.

When I am sad and isolating,

You hold me gently and allow me to cry on your shoulder,

When I am triggered, you are there for me

Shining brightly and showing me the way out.

Your mere presence helps me to know that I

Am not alone and your light shines brightly,

When my hope disappears you shine your light,

When I feel stuck in old memories,

You shine your light so brightly that I,

Reach out and take your hand, you guide me back to myself.

You gently remind me that I have a birthright to

Be happy, take up space, and to live my life

You remind me that I have a

choice in very decision I make.

You are constantly there as a shining light.

Thank you!!

Peaceful Warrior


I am fighting a battle inside of myself,

My enemy is Post Traumatic Stress,

My strength comes from myself,

Memories of what happened to me replays over

And over again.

There are flashbacks,

There are nightmares,

There are triggers,

The pain is so real and I cannot stop the pain.

I cannot stop the flashbacks.

I cannot stop the nightmares.

I cannot stop the grief.

I cannot stop the rage.

I show a brave face to the world but on

The inside I am crying.

Mother Earth is helping me to heal my heart

That was broken into thousands of pieces,

There are many days when I feel like I am broken,

I am determined to win this battle and to heal my heart.

I will not let triggers, flashbacks, nightmares control my emotions.

I will not let those tried to destroy me win this war.

I have awakened and I will find peace with myself.


I will love myself and forgive myself for past harms

I will love my body.

I will continue to grow spirituality.

I will continue to be mindful and meditate.

I will continue to speak my truth and continue to heal.

I will reach out to fellow Peaceful Warriors and

Help them to heal to.

I am Peaceful Warrior.

Healing Crystals




Pink Quartz,



Tiger Eye,

Clear Quartz,


All healing stones that connect me to my body, raise my energy,

Surrounding me in a healing circle,

Supporting me in my healing journey,

Allowing me to see through the cloud of pain,

Giving me strength and protecting me,


Raising my energy,

Ground me in the present moment,

Connect me to my body,

Helping me to communicate what I need to communicate,

Healing my broken heart,

How I love these healing stones,

Climbing Mountain


There is a huge mountain in front of me,

I start climbing it,

The mountain in front of me seems gigantic and impossible to climb,

I start climbing the mountain in front of me,

I find a place to grip,

Digg my fingers into the rock,

Find a place to put my feet so that I can climb higher and higher,

At times feel like I am going to fall off the mountain,

At times, this task feels impossible since there is so much pain inside,

so many emotions,

body sensations,



At times all I can do is cry,


tear things apart,


It’s taking everything I have to climb this mountain,

It’s taking so much to face all of the demons inside of me,

It taking so much to heal from so much trauma,

The mountain before me seems impossible to climb,

There are other people higher on the mountain that reach out their hand to me

I grab their hand and know that I do not have to do this allow,

When I feel like quitting they tell me I can’t,

They tell me that they are there for me,

Do not give up,

It’s okay to feel your feelings,

It’s okay to allow the tears to come out,

It’s okay to be enraged,

It’s okay to rest,

Remember to do self-care,

I know you are feeling so much pain,

It’s okay to say, I am exhausted,

Be there for me and allow another to hold you on this journey of healing,

I listen to them and allow them to be there for me,

The tears coming from my eyes like waterfalls cleansing my pain and soul,

I will get through this.

It’s one day a time,

Sometimes one minute at a time,

Sometime one second at a time,

Know that you are loved,

That you are not allow,

You can lean on me,

You can call me anytime,

I am there and I will listen to what you have to say,

I believe you,

I support you,

I am a Warrior,

I am strong.

It’s going to be alright.

I will get to the top.

I will be free .


A Walk in Nature


Awoken in the morning by birds singing a lovely song,

letting me know a new day has come,

look at my dog,

he is wagging his tail telling me it’s time for his walk,


I put his leash on,

out the door we go

We are out in nature,


I smell cool crisp air,

Breathe deeply to fill my lungs,

Hear all of birds singing their songs,

Sense myself becoming one with the present moment,

As we are walking, I notice my body is relaxing more and more, and

I am becoming more mindful of all the sounds around me,


I look up at the trees to see they are starting to bud,

The dogwoods already have their blooms,

I look at the grass and see the first dandelion flower spouting up,

Saying here I am,

See my dog, prancing, so happy to be outside,

See him point at the squirrel close to us,

My dog is going crazy, barking at the squirrel,

The squirrel climbs up a tree to get away from my dog,


As we get closer, I see that the squirrel sitting on a branch,

Looking right at me,

giving me some animal medicine,


I notice a rabbit jumping around in the distance,

Also see a family of deer, that my dog has not seen yet,

We keep along the path,

As we get closer to the lake,

I see a blue heron perched on a tree,


Nature is beautiful and brings me home to myself,

I am now completely on nature time,

Completely relaxed and connected to myself.

Blooming Into A Powerful Woman


I will never understand why six men choose to me

to violate and abuse me in the way they did,


Will never understand why nothing was done

to the sixteen-year-old who abused

me when I was eleven years old,


Will never understand why a police officer

blamed me for being raped and defended

two rapists at University of Cincinnati,


Will never understand why I was the one

that was blamed, shamed, emotionally abused,

retaliated against by chain of command,

Will never understand why I lost my career

for coming forward to report the crime that

was committed against me in the Navy

while rapist keeps his career and is promoted,


However, through all of this trauma,

I have broken free from there control,

I am no longer afraid,

I speak my truth,

I feel my feelings,


I have bloomed like the lotus flower,

Post traumatic growth has taken place,

Deep healing has taken place that is

leading in new direction,

I have new strengths that

I did not know I had before,


I realize just how powerful my voice has become,

Realize that I am standing in my light,

Shining brightly

and realize that I am an

empowered Warrior that has many gifts

of healing to share with the world.

This is my new purpose in life.