Every day, I just keep hoping for that one change, person, chance, contract, and breakthrough that allows me to make money again. I have shared my heart and personal thoughts with the world. I have been totally raw and vulnerable with speaking my truth of what I have been through. I have no idea what else to do. I have stopped writing about what happened to me. Any more, I am really careful about what I say on social media, here in my blog, and truthfully I am at a lost.
All that I am asking for is for my book to sell, people to pay attention to my blog, videos and care enough to read my true story. My book is not just what happened to me. Yes, part of my book tells that part of my truth; however, my book is not just all about that. My book is about my healing path. My poems change and start offering hope, light, compassion and at times are very educational for any one with wants to understand Post Traumatic Stress and Depression. Someone recently told me that my poetry is nothing more then just me talking about my trauma and “is meant to keep people stuck in there trauma’s.” This could not be further from the truth, the whole reason I started writing poetry was I needed an outlet to express pain, grief, anger, depression, sadness, loneliness that I was feeling while I was serving on-board USS Ronald Reagan. I could not exactly go to my chain of command cuss them out and tell them exactly how I was feeling unless I wanted to end up at Captains’ Mast. Also, I was seeing a therapist on my off duty time when we were pier side, who encouraged me to start writing in a journal.
In 2014, I went to a retreat called Artemis Rising where we were encouraged to write in a journal every day. It was after this retreat that I wrote Grief and Rising. I knew how powerful writing was for me. Then in 2016, I took Nia Blue Belt and started writing more and more. Writing has saved my life. Writing has given me a voice when I have been voiceless. My therapist has asked me to read several of my poems to her in sessions. Writing poetry is helping me to heal and can help to educate so many people if they would just give me a chance and listen.
The Journey Back to Myself: A Book of Healing Poetry Second Edition would be a great book for any body to read. Psychologists, Psychiatrists, social Workers, medical professionals, law enforcement officers, politicians, professors could learn so much from my book and would be a great educational tool to have. The truth is every body is healing something and my book has a poem for every body. I just keep plugging away with one blog at a time, one tweet at a time, one video at a time, and just keep hoping that someone will care enough to pick up my book. I keep hoping for my breakthrough.