Deleted My Facebook Page Yesterday

Earlier this year, I was attacked by a close friend for saying something that had to do with the political environment that we are in. In response to my friend attacking me, I ended up deleting that blog and started this one. Well yesterday, I was attacked by this same “so called friend,” for posting how I feel about this me too movement.¬† This is what I posted,

“With the . People are not listening to me or any other Military Sexual Assault survivors. The Invisible War brought this into the light in 2013. So what about MST Survivors? What about our stories, our lives?”

Well one of my fellow veteran sisters that understands military sexual trauma responded. One of my brother MST survivors liked my post and then another female veteran responded. Next thing I know, I was being attacked by a friend that is just a civilian telling me and my other Veteran Survivors that we are the ones excluding ourselves from this movement. No, we are not the ones that are excluding ourselves from this movement. We are the ones that came forward in 2013 and made the Invisible War come out. Several of my friends are the ones that went and testified on Capital Hill in 2013. We are the ones that have been advocating for change in the military and nothing has happened. So do not tell me that I am excluding myself from this movement. We are the ones that started this movement. We are the ones that tweeted, emailed, called, mailed our service medals to Congress. We are the ones that hand delivered our true stories. We are the ones that enlisted or got a commission to serve this country and none of us asked to be raped, retaliated against, emotionally abused, careers ruined and live with the effects of what the chain of command did. We are the ones that dealt with not only the rape but also institutional abuse, retaliation, emotional abuse and had to live with the chain of commands response every single day, 24/7, 365 days a year.

So I am done being nice and I deleted my facebook page. I am doing this for self care. I am tired of being abused. I am tired of not being able to have my an opinion on my own facebook page. I will not take this abuse from any one and especially not a civilian that has no freaking idea what it is like to report being raped, told that you are going to talk to a Drug and Alcohol Chief since you were drunk and it was your fault that you were raped. Also, has no idea what it is like to go through a rape exam where the male officer does not even know how to perform a rape kit and has to come back into cut hairs. Then told, “We believe you but there is not a damn thing we can do about. Here’s your orders to the USS Ronald Reagan.”

When you get to your next command the emotional abuse starts. Then the retaliation starts and you are told over and over again that you are nothing, we are going to kick you out. We are going to make you talk to a male about being raped. We do not care that your knee is hurt and etc.

So I am sorry if you do not like what I have to say. I have written two books about the hell I lived through. I have been on the front lines fighting this issue since 2013 and still the fucking government has not done a damn thing. Also, do not tell me that¬† I am excluding myself from this #metoomovement. No it’s the American people that are excluding MST survivors and still do a damn thing about Rape in the military. We are telling our stories and have been since 2013 and even before that. We are not talking about being raped by some foreign enemy. We are being raped by our OWN FELLOW SERVICE MEMBERS.

I have deleted my accounts on facebook and they will remain deleted. Until you have served in the military and know the hell that MST Surivivors live through , I do not want to hear a damn thing from you. You call yourself my friend. Well I am here to say that you are not even close to being one of my friends and I am done with not being to express myself. I do not care if this blog post pisses you off. Also, I have deleted my facebook page for self care, setting personal boundaries, respecting myself to say enough and I am just done not being able to express my own feelings on my own facebook page without being attacked by a “so called friend.”