November 4, 2006, a Journal Entry from The Boulders In My Life That Shaped My Journey

November 4, 2006

Dear Journal,

I am not out to sea this weekend because something on the ship is broke. I was able to go to the women’s meeting and I was able to face of couple of my fears. For some reason, I was really afraid to be there today. I met a newcomer at the meeting and was able to talk to her. It was just nice to be able to be there for someone.

3:56 PM

I am watching  Ohio State Buckeyes play and they are winning again. During half time, I took a nap and then called a friend to see how she is doing. She told me that was making chocolate chip cookies and is going to a barque tonight. My knee has been bothering me for most of the day, so I have had my knee up on two pillows, iced it and taken pain medication.

I am not wanting to be around any one today so I am just relaxing at a hotel room. I am trying to figure out what I am going to do after I get out of the Navy. If I stay here, where am I going to live? What kind of job am I going to have? Do I star looking for a medical records job? Then I need to find a apartment to live in.

I am feeling really sad, tearful, betrayed and hurt. This has been nothing like I thought it would be and all it has been is abuse.

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